EXPECTATIONS: A BOXER'S TALE

I was recently in a discussion with a fellow trainer about a family who contacted her regarding their one year-old Boxer. The Boxer was extremely friendly, and very gentle when interacting with their two young children. The only trouble they had was when the kids would run around the house with their toys: the Boxer would want to join in and play, chasing them as they ran, and the parents were worried that their kids would accidentally get knocked over in play. The trainer was in the process of putting together a management plan to help the family and their very-loved pup navigate through this particular situation before they began to work together on training.

As we talked, I began to think once again about the expectations we put on our dogs in today's world. In this particular case, the family's initial hope was to manage the dog so that she could learn to control her impulse to chase with the kids. There was, of course, no expectation of or a moment's thought given to also managing or teaching the children as well.

And why?

Because we see this as unreasonable. Unrealistic. Ridiculous. Kids are kids, they will run and play, and them not being able to do so freely at home is an unfair expectation and just can't be done (I'm the eldest of 6 kids - trust me, I get it). Yet we not only expect, but insist on, a higher standard for our dogs.

Dogs communicate their needs and feelings through their behavior. And this often doesn't work for humans. Not only do we expect them to act the way we want them to every second of the day, but failure to do so often results in scolding or punishment. Talk about an unfair expectation. Talk about ridiculous.

Consider everything that our dogs communicate to us: it is everything from their most basic physical needs to their most vulnerable feelings of fear or pain. Consider what they are naturally wired to do, and what we humans have intentionally wired in ourselves for our purposes. And now consider how much choice dogs have to decide anything in a day. Consider dogs who "act out" with reactive behaviors out of fear or discomfort. Dogs who "get back at us" out of separation anxiety, confinement anxiety, or boredom. Imagine being your dog for a day. How do you feel?

When pet families reach out for help to address a behavior issue, it almost goes without saying that the expectation is to stop the dog from doing something - and it's usually something they are wired to do, a natural dog behaviour. Running, pulling, sniffing, jumping, chasing, digging. The list goes on. Because in our human world, these things can be challenging, a nuisance, and frequently the reason a dog ends up in a shelter labeled as having "behavior problems." Yet so often, giving them outlets for these natural dog behaviors in a way that works for them AND us will not only improve their overall mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing, but their behavior. And the key frequently lies in managing ourselves more than our dogs. Some of us have a hard time swallowing that.

Having a plan to manage behavior and teach new, alternative behaviors is a vital part of improving our daily lives with our dogs. It's an absolute must, especially when safety concerns are a factor. And we are not perfect, we will fall short. I fail my dogs often.

But trying to understand things from their point of view, how it must feel so often to have no choice, no voice, and no control and that this is just the way it is, and yet they love and listen and do what we ask with often so little in return...that is nothing short of remarkable. And we owe them so much more.

So start by giving them choice.